Feeling Jealous on the Internet... and 12 Ways to Make it Stop - Skillful Cook
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Feeling Jealous on the Internet... and 12 Ways to Make it Stop

iphone with headphones

A few weeks ago, I had this experience:

I woke up in what is for sure the world's most comfortable bed -> MY bed. I was well-rested. I was snuggled up next to Sage. I was feeling excited about the work I was going to do that day, because I happen to have one of the best jobs EVER, with tasks including but not limited to writing online to my friends (dats you!), trying new recipes, and then creating THINGS, all kinds of things, like videos, photos, blog posts, and social media updates, that communicate the recipes to the internet world. I GET TO CALL THIS MY JOB.

And yet.

It's never ever a good idea, but I grabbed my phone and opened Facebook. While still laying in bed.

You see where this is going, right?

I found that familiar little blue icon, starting thumbing through the morning posts, enjoying the pictures of my friends, and WHOA. Hold the phone - literally. Right in front of my eyes, this cooking video started playing. TBH, I don't remember if it was Tasty or Tip Hero or BuzzFeed or whatever other massive food video machine it could have been from, but I do remember two things:

  1. It was a viral video for a Crockpot Chicken Wild Rice Soup recipe with tons of comments, likes, and shares, and
  2. It made me insanely jealous.

It feels really un-cool to write that out, but I just have to be honest here. The jealousy was creepin.

Here's the deal - literally I had the video footage for the almost identical recipe already shot and ready to be edited, just waiting on my computer desktop because I WAS GOING TO MAKE THAT VIDEO. Ugh. Didn't they know that?! And how could my friends and family members be SHARING this video? Come on, guys! THAT VIDEO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE.*

*toddler brain takeover

I walked into the kitchen where Bjork was making coffee (another positive!) and instead of enjoying the morning for the beautiful and virtually perfect moment that it was, instead I just had all these ugly mad feelings. Or was it mad? I don't know. I was just generally a terrible human to be around.

I was feeling insecure, less than, comparative, and jealous all before the day even started.

laptop with a hand and oranges with coffee

All this because of a seriously ridiculous auto-play 30-second Chicken Wild Rice Soup video on Facebook. It's embarrassing and it's real.

Maybe it's more real for me than it is for you, kind reader who I imagine being the nicest person ever, because I'm naturally competitive and anxious and fill in the blank of other difficult feelings. I might look okay online, but you've gotta know that sometimes there are some THINGS going on over here behind the curtain. That being said, I have a feeling that online jealousy, on some level, is actually kind of a universal thing - a bad, sticky feeling - that just sort of sits with all of us from time to time and yet we don't really know what to do to change it or make it go away.

And in particular, since the Internet and its connectedness is creating a lot of our stress, comparison, and jealousy, what's A PERSON WHO MAKES A LIVING ON THE INTERNET supposed to do about this? Oiy.

Breaking Down How To Overcome Online Jealousy

So for today's post, I put together a list of 12 things that have helped me break through those icky-bad feelings of online jealousy many times over the last five years as a blogger. Or, maybe I should say - ARE CURRENTLY helping me break through those icky-bad feelings, because this is not a one-and-done type situation - this is more of a lifelong quest to just know that we're enough and to BE OKAY.

To just be, and to be okay. Wholehearted. Enough. Okay.

Today's post is written with an emphasis on jealousy for bloggers, but I am confident that a lot of these things could apply to anyone who uses the internet.

Jealousy Takedown in three, two...

#1: Unfollow People.

A computer desk with a notepad and photos on it.

Okay, here we go. We're starting boldly.

Get your phone out.

Now - please start unfollowing anyone and/or leaving the places that really makes you feel gross feelings. Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Pinterest, the whole nine yards, kids.

And I don't mean gross like actually gross things - I mean gross in that they post such beautiful things all the time that you cannot look at their photos and updates and not feel like your life / job / body / house / clothes / kids / parenting is probably the worst ever.

At least three people came to mind just now, right? Probably more. You follow them because they inspire you, and yes - truly, they are seriously super-awesome people. We can still have respect for their pretty Instagram feeds and Pinterest pages out there without necessarily needing to follow along for the day-to-day ride. If this is trigger for you like it is for me (hello, Pinterest), it's probably for the best to tune some of those voices out for a while.

I know the unfollow sounds a tiny bit harsh, especially to my Minnesota Nice ears, but this is the opposite of mean. It is you being kind and gentle to yourself by not putting your comparison triggers right in front of your own face 24/7. You can control the messages that you are receiving on a daily basis, and the best messages are ones that tell you (and your house and your body and your life and your kids and the state of your blog) are valued and loved.

You are now excused to spend 10 minutes unfollowing people. k bye.

#2: Follow Inspiring People In Other Niches.

girl drawing on a black surface with a white marker

On the flip side of the unfollow is the new follow. Get some new, fresh, non-competition inducing inspiration by following people who are working in an area outside of your niche.

For example, I'm a food blogger and one of my favorite places for inspiration is Instagram. For whatever reason, I find that I'm able to draw more pure inspiration (inspiration minus comparison) when I follow people outside of the U.S. I don't even know why that works, but it does. I feel far enough away from them that I don't feel the need to compare as much.

The same is true for me with writers and celebrities. I LOVE to study these people - non-food-bloggers, mind you - on social media and really try to learn from them. Why is that one thing working for them? What is it about this type of content that makes people respond? And I get exactly zero bad feelings from this because they're in such a different place than I am that there really is nothing to compare.

Removing some of that closeness can help you really be inspired without letting comparison or anxiety creep in.

#3: Practice The 90/10 Rule.

hand holding a bowl of food with coconut flakes

This one is more specifically aimed at bloggers, but I think it has implications for anyone.

I try to live by the 90/10 rule, which just means that 90% of my time is dedicated to CREATING and 10% of my time is set aside for FOLLOWING. So if I had 10 hours, I would hope that 9 of those hours are spent working on new recipes, trying a new photography trick, and working on my writing, and then that one last hour would be spent scrolling through social media and looking at what others are doing.

It's like putting intentional blinders on. If you're susceptible to online jealousy, just try putting a quantified limit (for example, one hour) on the amount of time you spend checking up on other people's internet lives.

#4: Log Out Of All Social Media Accounts.

cracked iphone with hand and notebook with pen

And that works really nicely with this next one.

LOG OUT! Log out, log out, log out.

If you are trying to limit the amount of online jealousy you feel, you probably need to limit your time you spend on social media, and in order to do that, you probably need to just log out of your accounts.

Often this little hack is the only thing that stops me from opening Facebook or Instagram. I'll even hit the app icons in a moment of boredom only to be taken to the log in page, and in that moment it feels like SO MUCH WORK to log in. This trick works especially well if you're moderately to severely lazy. That one extra step usually all it takes for me to re-route that time and energy to something more positive.

#5: Name The Root.

food on parchment paper dusted with powdered sugar

This one is important. So you're jealous, and so am I. But WHY?

Take some time to just try to name the root of your jealousy.

For me, there's usually some kind of a fear or anxious thought running the show.

Something like this:

  • Jealous Thought: I'm jealous that __ made a Chicken Wild Rice Soup video really similar to the one I was going to make and that it got tons of likes and comments and shares.
  • Why do I have that thought: If ___ makes a Chicken Wild Rice Soup video for Facebook, they're probably going to get tons of followers, and people will love them and people will stop loving me, and everyone will be sick of Chicken Wild Rice Soup videos so no one is going to like MY Chicken Wild Rice Soup video on Facebook when I finally finish it in 8 years. -> Just throwing it out there as a wild, random example.

This is a perfect example of a scarcity mindset.

For Me, and For Many Of Us, Our First Waking Thought Of The Day Is “I Didn’t Get Enough Sleep.” The Next One Is “I Don’t Have Enough Time.” Whether True Or Not, That Thought Of Not Enough Occurs To Us Automatically Before We Even Think To Question Or Examine It. We Spend Most Of The Hours and The Days Of Our Lives Hearing, Explaining, Complaining, Or Worrying About What We Don’t Have Enough Of.

...Before We Even Sit Up In Bed, Before Our Feet Touch The Floor, We’Re Already Inadequate, Already Behind, Already Losing, Already Lacking Something. And By The Time We Go To Bed At Night, Our Minds Are Racing with a Litany Of What We Didn’t Get, Or Didn’t Get Done, That Day. We Go To Sleep Burdened By Those Thoughts and Wake Up To That Reverie Of Lack. ...This Internal Condition Of Scarcity, This Mind-Set Of Scarcity, Lives At The Very Heart Of Our Jealousies, Our Greed, Our Prejudice, and Our Arguments with Life.

- Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

Friends, please read this book.

Naming the root of the jealousy (maybe it's a scarcity mindset?) can help you know how to move forward. No need for magic solutions just yet - start by just naming it for what it is and bringing it out into the open.

#6: Hang Out with Non-Bloggers.

plates with food on a glass table and hands holding forks and coffee

Guess what? LOTS OF PEOPLE DON'T CARE ABOUT BLOGS. I am doing a maniacal-villain-style laugh in my head.

Is that not the most freeing thought ever?

My personal friends are my lifeline. They are literally everything. The fact that they do not know who so-and-so-blogger is and haven't seen how many times that one recipe was pinned and really don't care about who has such-and-such great thing happening for their business right now are things that keep me normal.

If you have friends like this, you need to spend time with them REGULARLY before you start to get socially weird from living an internet life.

If you do not have friends like this, good news! you can make friendships happen! Start by inviting people over for TV shows or drinks or dinner.

Maybe make them some Chicken Wild Rice Soup. I could make a video to show you how. I dunno, just a thought.

#7: Pep-Talk To Yourself From Another Perspective.

couch with throw pillows and a blanket

Imagine talking to yourself from another perspective.

For example, sometimes I try to imagine what I would say to myself if I was a child. (Just... hang with me.)

The child would say, “I'm jealous of ____.” And make a sad face.

And then the adult (this is the perspective-taking part that I'm talking about, where the adult is actually - surprise - YOU) would say, “Here's what you should do with that feeling.” Or, “Here's what that feeling says about you.”

I've also heard this described as the inner critic. How would you speak to the inner critic if you were in the leading, responsible adult shoes?

I don't know. I am smiling because I feel like this one is going to be lost on a lot of people who don't have to have these conversations in their head. But I think my talk-to-yourself-in-your-head people are right there with me, right?

But if you need to shake yourself out of a rut, just try looking at things from the perspective of someone OUTSIDE the situation. Usually that helps bring some reality back into the picture.

#8: Become a Team.

camera with green strap on two notebooks with glasses

If there's someone or a group of people in particular that is making you feel jealous, ask yourself this: is there a way that you could team up with them?

I find that jealousy gives way to compassion and admiration when you feel like you can be that person's champion.

Figure out ways to be people's champion. Their teammate. Their supporter.

A few ideas:

  • Email them just to say hi, you're doing a great job, I love your work, and it inspires me. It's hard to be genuinely nice and jealous at the same time.
  • If you already know them well enough, email them just to check in. How are you doing? What can I be doing for you?
  • Get together with them in real life. It's amazing what connections IRL can do to crush online comparisons.
  • Meet with them at a conference.
  • Start a mastermind with them. Share ideas and celebrate successes. Their wins become your wins and vice versa.

#9: Honor and Celebrate.

printed photos of food

Even if you don't think you will ever meet this person or have the chance to be on a team with them, REACH OUT and celebrate them.

Same idea applies - if you are genuinely kind in your heart towards YOURSELF and towards other people, it becomes more and more unnatural to always be comparing yourself.

Good news - you can start being kind in your heart with baby steps.

  • Mentally practice envisioning and celebrating their successes. Like, literally, just think about them and imagine them being successful and yourself being truly happy for them.
  • Pray for them. Send them good vibes. Feel positive energy towards them.
  • Tweet something nice at them.
  • Start liking and sharing their content on Facebook or Instagram.
  • Tell people about the good things they are doing.

I know some of this sounds weird, but a) I only admitted to 50% normalcy earlier in the post, so I did warn you, and b) it actually does work.

Do you see the shift? By genuinely honoring them and celebrating their wins, your feelings change from jealousy to respect and admiration.

#10: Write A Mission Statement.

hands on a laptop keyboard with strawberries and blueberries

One of the reasons I think it's so easy to feel jealous is that we simultaneously feel like we should be doing it all.

For example, when the Chicken Wild Rice video pops up in my feed, I feel so protective of that and I get jealous and comparative. But back up - why do I feel protective? I don't even DO videos right now. It is literally NOWHERE on my job description. Yeah, it would be awesome to do more videos, and I want to do them which is why I start to feel jealous when I see someone else doing it and doing it well, but COME ON. We cannot do everything here.

For bloggers, I highly recommend just taking some time to write down your job description and continue refining it and categorizing it until you really feel like you've hit the core of what you do, why you do it, why it matters, and how it stands out.

Narrow your focus to only what YOU do, and suddenly jealousy for allllll the other things sort of falls off the wagon because you've removed yourself from those extra rings that you maybe never really needed to be in in the first place.

#11: Give Yourself A Break.

sunset from a building rooftop

I consider myself at least 50% normal, and I feel jealous pretty regularly. I know my non-blogger friends feel jealous sometimes. Even Bjork, the most virtually perfect human being that I know, sometimes feels a tiny little twinkle of jealousy.

Some of us (hiiii!) are more prone to jealousy, for sure, but I really think jealousy is just a normal part of the human experience, especially for the time that we live in. We are very connected to the *best parts* of other people's lives, but not connected to any of the real-life stuff. It's a recipe for jealousy.

Don't stress about feeling jealous. You're normal. That's all.

#12: Gratitude.

dog in a field

When I'm feeling particularly icky about something - I wish I had ___ // that person is so much better than me at ___ // why can't I just get ___ - I find that gratitude almost immediately squashes those feelings.

For example -> I wish I had that many Facebook followers -> stop -> gratitude -> I am so thankful that I enjoy my job so much.

For example -> How does she always look so good -> stop -> gratitude -> I am so thankful that I have a strong and healthy body that can take me for walks with Sage. AND I LOVE SAGE. Cue: walk with Sage.

For example -> If only my house was as stylish as theirs -> stop -> gratitude -> My bed is literally the most comfortable happy place I could ever imagine and my house is filled with all my favorite living, breathing, smiling people. THANKFUL does not even begin to touch it.

As a disclaimer, let's be honest - sometimes if someone else tells you that something sappy like “gratitude” works for having a better outlook on life, it's nothing short of annoying. I know that snarky territory all too well. But all I'm saying is just let that idea simmer for a little bit, okay? Just let it simmer. Gratitude is a superpower.

Guys, I know this post was really long and a little weird.

The only real reason that I am taking the time to write this (and show you how things really work in my own messy brain - eek) is the hope that you walk away feeling encouraged and inspired to make small changes that help you JUST BE, and be okay. Jealousy and comparison is hard and real, but we hold the power.

We can baby step our way towards a happier heart.

Also - this is my last post from home for the next few weeks! Tomorrow we leave for the faraway magically hot place known as the Philippines to visit and work at an orphanage that we lived at for a year. I'm stressing because exactly 12 hours from now our flight will be taking off down the runway and the number of items in either of our suitcases right now is (hold on let me count) a whopping NONE. But also I'm so excited. I'd love to have you following along with our trip - I will do some posting here on the blog, but I'll also share live updates on the Facebook Skillful Cook VIP Group and also SNAPCHAT! I can only hope and pray that my Snapchat works abroad. 🙏

Thank you for being a beautiful soul who cares about yourself and others. Yes, YOU! I love you in that strangely sweet blog-to-reader way. Be awesome today.


Filed Under: Life

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  1. Skillful Cook Logo

    Such a great post Lindsay!! I appreciate your honesty so much! I struggle a lot with jealousy and have done many of the things you mentioned – I especially try to celebrate other’s successes. Everything you wrote is SO good and true. Another thing I have learned while trying to overcome jealousy is often when we get jealous over one specific event, we continue to replay it in our minds and each time we do that our minds play this trick on us that that certain event happened 100 times against us instead of only once. It makes the pain/jealousy so much stronger in our minds when we continue to replay the scenario of whatever it is we are jealous over. When I catch my mind replaying what happened I mentally try to stop myself from thinking about it and just say, “that happened in the past, and I don’t need to keep thinking about it, and I am totally okay right now with where I am at.” It really helps me to stop dwelling on the issue. Okay this is the longest comment ever sorry. But once again great post!!

    1. Skillful Cook Logo

      LOVE this Rach! I so appreciate you sharing that – I almost want to go back and add it to the list just so I remember to practice that more. Thank you for sharing! XO

    2. Skillful Cook Logo


      So true! I call my tendency to replay negative thoughts or experiences over and over ‘looping’ since it makes me feel like I’m stuck in and endless loop like a computer program gone awry. Great suggestion for breaking that nasty little cycle we get into!

  2. Skillful Cook Logo

    I haven’t seen this “other” recipe video so I’m excited to see yours. You are my food kindred spirit! Pretty much everything you post I want to make and typically do… Maybe it’s the lovely food photography making everything look insanely delicious or you just include ingredients I tend to cook with and love. At any rate, I look forward to your posts the most out of my long list of food blogs.

  3. Skillful Cook Logo

    I’m almost in tears – I don’t get internet jealousy, as I’m not a social media person at all – I really love all things culinary so I do very much enjoy viewing recipe sites and blogs – but do get totally down on myself and my abilities (or lack of some) all the time – like so many of us do. This is a fantastic article, especially the part towards the end where you say ‘Let’s be honest – sometimes if someone else tells you that something sappy like “gratitude” works for having a better outlook on life, it’s just annoying.’ – that is so true sometimes lol, but it really does help! It’s all a learning process. It’s definitely ok to just ‘be’ and be ‘okay’!

    1. Skillful Cook Logo

      Thank you for this comment! I had to put that note in there because I know sometimes it’s annoying to hear that “gratitude” is what can fix your outlook. But if you’re ready for it, it’s really true and effective. Take care!

      1. Skillful Cook Logo

        Yes it’s absolutely true and does help – thank you so much for the personal response; I know you’re replying to everyone but it makes me feel special, truly! It’s fantastic that you love what you do and when you do, it doesn’t feel like ‘work’ – but I can only imagine the work that goes into starting a blog, teaching, photography and everything else that goes along with it especially to begin generating income – so I am always impressed with what recipe bloggers do and love following you – I think you and so many others are such rock stars in this arena and you have no idea how much you inspire me and not just in a culinary way. Also, how wonderful it must feel helping at an orphanage in the Philippines; may you and Bjork have a safe and blessed trip there and back!

  4. Skillful Cook Logo

    reason number 10000 I adore and respect you and Bjork so much. I may or may not comment on every post here but you guys are such an inspiration to me. I listen, actually look forward to the podcast because it is so valuable. Lately, more specifically this week I have been very stressed with everything and part of it is jealously..so this post came at a right time. later on, will have to share with the world 😛

  5. Skillful Cook Logo

    Great and inspiring post! I am guilty—I am constantly comparing myself to others. And it just leads to sadness and feelings of inadequacy. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone. And it’s important to do those things that prevent us from feeling this jealousy. I love the steps you came up with. I should tape them to my wall!

  6. Skillful Cook Logo

    I love this post. I’ve recently started unfollowing people/things that didn’t put a positive influence in my life and it’s really been amazing for my own sanity! Your tips are just so great and I’ll definitely be saving this post to reflect on once I get back from my vacation (leave on Friday for 2 weeks!).

    I just read a quote yesterday that talked about gratitude and I loved it so much that I wrote it on a post it on my desk.

    “The secret to being grateful is no secret. You choose to be grateful. Then you do it again. Every day. When you forget, begin again.”

  7. Skillful Cook Logo

    Thank you so much for this. I fall into the jealous trap all the time, and have to remind myself that social media life is not real life. Many of the people I follow blog for a living and they carefully cultivate the image of having it all, doing it all, being beautiful, and living the perfect life. But the truth is, they run businesses that rely on these images and as businesses, they have help to create and maintain the image. I am only one person and her cat – I can’t do it all and be it all and be glamorous at the same time. Ain’t gonna happen! I also love Brene Brown and Daring Greatly. She is brilliant! And I could not agree more about the scarcity principle being what messes up so many of us. Who cares if other people are winning at life? It’s not like there is a limited amount of joy and happiness and success to go around. There is plenty. I work on ditching my scarcity mentality every day. And my last thought on this insanely long comment is that it is 100% adorable that you consider your husband to be “the most virtually perfect human being.” Too sweet! Thank you for this post and for being real! 🙂

    1. Skillful Cook Logo

      Wow – thank you for such a thoughtful comment Michelle. I love the image of your blog being you and your cat! 🙂 So sweet! Sage says hi to your kitty! And about Bjork – it’s too true, I’m not just saying that! haha! We give him a hard time for being Mr. Congeniality – you know the type, the always-kind charmer, everyone’s darling. 😉 Even knowing the REAL him behind the scenes, I can say he really is as nice (*most* of the time) as people think he is! <3 I'm a lucky girl.

  8. Skillful Cook Logo

    The best! This post resinated with me so much. I signed out of my Facebook account on my phone last week and have yet to sign back in (only check it on my computer a couple times a day instead). Too many ugly, jealous feelings reared their head when I was scrolling out of boredom and I don’t have the time or energy to keep feeding them. Thanks for this awesome post!

  9. Skillful Cook Logo

    I really appreciate your honesty on this. Especially as a new blogger I totally experience internet jealousy. I have recipes that I think are the most amazing thing, but I am still learning how to show how amazing they are and there are so many people doing such a better job. I constantly have to go back to why I’m sharing them in the first place.

  10. Skillful Cook Logo

    Great post, but um… sorry, you made me a little jealous with that picture in your “reason #7”. What a gorgeous room. I love the walls and the blue rug under your couch! But (gratitude) my house is comfortable and warm and has lovely wood floors and wood moldings… Thanks for the perspective!
    P.S. Tried your Shrimp and Cauliflower Mash with (oops, roasted brussels sprouts) last night. My family loved it!

      1. Skillful Cook Logo

        Same thought as well, lol:):) Shucks I’m jealous of the kitchen in a friend’s office as it’s nicer than mine at home! Haha crazy is my normal ;-P

    1. Skillful Cook Logo

      ahaha that’s great – thanks Dee! 🙂 And good call on the gratitude perspective! YOU WIN!! 😀 That’s actually a picture of our studio – the full story is that if you turned just a little bit to the left you would see boxes and boxes and boxes of junk needing to be addressed… a sink with a broken drain… a furnace that is blowing AC… just to make sure you’re getting the full story here. 🙂 But we are definitely grateful for having such a cool space to work with!

  11. Skillful Cook Logo

    I say go for it. Your followers will be looking for your version anyway. You have your niche they have theirs. They did it their way, now you can do it better.

  12. Skillful Cook Logo

    Great Post! I am reading DARING GREATLY as part of a book club right now. It’s awesome. I love the passage that you included. PS- I plan to watch, love, and share your chicken and wild rice video!!!!

  13. Skillful Cook Logo

    Thank you so much for writing this post. Seriously, it was exactly what I needed to read today. I’ve been struggling with my own online jealousy and this finally gave me the push to deal with it in a productive way rather than just wallowing in my angry/bad feelings.

  14. Skillful Cook Logo

    I adore this blog. Everything you make looks insanely delicious (and the recipes I’ve made from here have been!) and it’s so fun to read! I’m not a blogger buuuut this post is SO helpful with jealousy I struggle with in my own life. Seriously. Thank you!!

  15. Skillful Cook Logo

    Lindsay, this is beautiful – and so helpful! Sometimes I can get sucked in to the “omg why don’t I have that” trap of Instagram, but all of these tips are SUPER helpful. I think gratitude is the most important one (it’s not too cheesy!) because we all have so much to be thankful for!!

  16. Skillful Cook Logo

    I love this. That comparison trap is always so tough and I’ve written about it I feel like a million times on my blog. I had to unfollow people that were just making me mad or I felt negative after seeing their posts. Instagram is a HUGE source of inspiration for me, and thankfully I’ve got the people I follow down to only those who make me feel creative and inspired!

  17. Skillful Cook Logo

    I totally have been feeling this lately, and actively trying to push myself to focus on other, more important, better things. I’m focusing my energy on moving onward and upward. Thanks for this awesome post <3

  18. Skillful Cook Logo

    You rock…though I hope this doesn’t mean you get unfollowed because you’re a totally jealous-worthy person (in the best way!). Anyway this is absolutely not the purpose of your post but the picture under Rule 3, the 90/10 rule had me immediately drooling…what recipe is that?! I need it.
    Many thanks, love what you’ve got goin on here in your corner of the internet.

  19. Skillful Cook Logo

    This is a lovely reminder and list! I am in a completely different field and also struggle with it. Also wiht the story I fill in about how much better they are/worse I am. With you in solidarity, sister!